I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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