He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
