he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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