i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
