WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
