you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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