I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
