How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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