Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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