Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need to stop coming to work sober
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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