mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize