the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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