just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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