So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
