when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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