based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
