you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
