I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize