so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
