i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
