dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
