Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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