Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
