Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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