i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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