My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
