WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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