Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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