hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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