You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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