He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
