Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this just has baby written all over it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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