You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
