Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
