she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
