I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
