I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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