We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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