Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
