drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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