Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
