You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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