I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize