Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
