He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
