So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
