What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
false alarm. still invincible.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
