Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
