this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
