I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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