at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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