So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
