somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
