LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
