remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
