I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
