His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
