god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
