The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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