What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
