Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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