Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
