Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
