My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
