Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
