The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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