his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
